I Cannot Lose You -- Part 2
by Annic
Summary: Jamie's greatest failure. Inspired by mi guard's story of the same name.


**A/N: This story is in response to mi guard's story "I cannot lose you" I wanted to get their permission to write this before I posted my take on the story. Some of the parts of the story is from mi guard's story. This wouldn't leave me alone. I have some more ideas I want to write but RL is keeping me very busy. I thought about not posting this but I started this right after I read the other story but after the last week that our country has been through, I needed some sort of outlet. Here it is. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own them, if I did Danny and Jamie would work together more :)**

_Beep…Beep…Beep_

Even though the sound could be classified as annoying for many people, for Jamie it meant that his brother is still alive. That Danny is still here. For Jamie and his family that is all that matters.

He has heard his father plead to a comatose Danny to hang on, that he can't lose another son. He heard his sister beg her protector, her best friend, her brother to come back to them, to be alright, that they all need him. He overheard Linda tell her unconscious husband that she can't even think about losing her best friend. However they pale in comparison when he listens to his nephews asking their dad to come back, all they want to hear from Danny is an 'I love you.' That they still need him, all of this make him think back to the day that has changed his life.

**BB**

_Four Days Prior_

_Jamie and Renzuilli had been thrown together at the last minute to work a couple of shifts together. Vinnie, Jamie's new partner had the bad part of the deal and was home sick with the flu. It had spread through the precinct like wildfire. People were working with people they had never worked with. While it had caused some friction and chemistry problems with some of the pairings but the majority of the officers were working together fine. _

_"Hey Kid, what is your brother doing working the corner? I knew detective work is hard but I always thought it paid better," Renzuilli joked. Jamie couldn't help but chuckle. He knew he was lucky to have had a great TO. Tony had quickly become someone he could trust and a good friend. He had also proved to be comic relief when needed._

_As they slowed down next to the curb, his brother realized who was coming to talk to him. Jamie knew that Danny rarely ever removed the detective face; only when he was with his family did anyone get to see the real Danny. Jamie found that he was beginning to get closer to his brother than before; they share a common bond of being part of NYPD, yet also losing close to them, Joe._

_"Hey Danny, what are you doing out here? You guys working a case?" Jamie asked as he stepped out of the patrol car. _

"_Hey Jamie. Hey Tony. Jackie is in the deli to grab some food and then we'll head back to the precinct. What about you?" Danny explained as he wondered what was taking his partner so long._

_ "We're on shift for another two hours, and I am starving too. I'll will hurry up and find your partner in there before she places her order, so she can order for me too and I won't have to join the queue," Tony explained._

_ Danny smiled. "Yeah, go try that, maybe you're lucky. You might be able to score some food faster than she has." Danny and Jamie watched Renzulli hurried into the deli and disappeared behind the door._

_"So where is Vinny, you know your partner? He get tired of you already?" Danny asked teasingly._

_"No, he's home with the flu, that's been going around the prescient. We are running on bare bones." Jamie explained " I don't mind being paired with Renzuilli. He's fun to work with and he keeps the shift light with all his jokes."_

_"I'm sure he does._ _Is he still telling you to think what your big brother Danny would do in a certain situation, and then make sure you do the opposite?" Danny laughed._

_"Yeah, that has become a standard," Jamie smirked._

_ Danny couldn't help but smile. He had to admit, once in a while that would be a good advice for Jamie. It wasn't just Renzuilli that was telling Jamie that, his own father had as well. It wasn't that Danny wasn't a good detective, Frank knew that his sons were going to be two completely different cops. _

_The next thing he knew, before he could respond to his brother, he heard two gunshots and saw Danny sprinting towards to closest side street. As he followed his brother he noticed people running and screaming towards away from the where the gunshots had occurred. The only thing that was running through his mind was he needed to find Danny. He knew that his brother couldn't and shouldn't go into that street alone. He knew he had to back up Danny. As he was running he heard footsteps following up behind him. He could tell that it was Jackie and Renzuilli however he kept on running._

_"Jamie! What are you doing?" Danny quietly whispers._

_"What do you think I am doing Danny? I'm your back up," Jamie exclaimed._

_"You shouldn't be here!"_

_"Danny, I didn't just graduate from the Academy! I can do this! I will do this!"_

_As they advanced to further into the alley, he could hear Danny cursing him. However all of that stopped when they rounded a corner and Danny screeched to a halt. Both of them raising their guns to face the suspect._

_"Police, Freeze! Hands up!" Danny yelled. _

_The next few minutes were a blur. He, Danny, Renzuilli, and Jackie were in a fire fight. Danny and him were the closest to the suspect and he knew were in the most danger. At that very moment he noticed a slight shift in the suspect's movement. The gun was pointed straight at him, he nearly froze when he heard the distinct sound of two shots and then he saw his brother dive in front of him and push him to the ground. Jamie waited for the searing white hot pain he had heard came with a gunshot that never came. Instead he felt the weight of his brother on top of him, unmoving._

_"Danny! Talk to me! Come on man, say something, move, anything! Danny…" Jamie cried. As he tried to push his brother off of him, his hand came in contact with a warm substance, when he pulled his hand away he noticed that it was covered in blood. _

_"My…Danny! No no no no no…." Jamie repeated as he rolled his brother over. Hoping to see something promising, as he put pressure on the wound he looked into his brother's eyes he saw nothing but fear and regret. _

_"Danny, come on stay with me. Linda needs her husband and Sean and Jack, they need their father. I can't take the place of you man. Erin, Dad and I, we can't lose you! Damnit Danny! Hang on, Please!" _

_"Reagan!" He heard both of their partners yell. But Jamie's only focus was his brother and how he couldn't lose him too. _

_The next thing he knew Danny was being loaded into an ambulance and rushed to the nearest hospital. Jamie, Jackie and Renzuilli weren't far behind. Both Tony and Jackie insisting that he get checked out as well. He also needed to get cleaned up before his family showed up. He didn't need his family worrying about him as well. _

_**BB**_

That afternoon had been four days ago. Ever since then Jamie stayed cemented at his brother's side. He had heard the doctor's explanation of Danny's injuries. As the days wore on and his brother showed no signs of waking he felt his hopes dwindle. No matter what his sister, father, or sister-in-law tried to tell him, Jamie still blamed himself. His loud, outgoing, annoying older brother was laying unmoving in a hospital bed because he was trying to protect him.

"You know Jamie, this isn't your fault. He would have done this for anyone else in the family. Danny, whenever he sees someone in trouble his first thought is never about himself. It is about helping the other person. He has always had the active protector gene in him. You should have seen him when he held you for the first time, it was the same with Erin and…" He heard his grandfather tell him.

"I know… I just…he is laying here because he was protecting me. How am I supposed to deal with that?"

"I don't know, but I am glad he did, I can't stand to see Danny like this and it would kill me to see you like that as well," Henry explained.

His family tried repeatedly to get him to go home, but Jamie refused to move from his brother's side.

Jamie couldn't hold himself together any longer. When he found himself alone with his comatose brother, he started to plead with Danny.

"Danny, please wake up. Please!" Jamie finds himself crying as he feels tears start to stream down his face. He doesn't care if anyone sees him. He is just trying to get his brother to hear him, to wake up.

"Danny, can't you hear me? Danny, you must wake up! Please wake up! Danny! You're my annoying big brother, but I love you. Please wake up. Do it for me! Danny! You saved my life. Why did you risk your life to save mine? You have a wife, two kids, they can't lose you. I can't lose you." He puts his hand on Danny's face hoping that some sort of contact, touch or anything will get his brother to wake up.

"Danny, please!" he sobs before he completely breaks down. It is then that he noticed a slight movement from his brother. Maybe he was imagining things.

"Danny?" Jamie asks hopefully. He fearfully glances up to his brother's face. It is then that he notices that Danny has opened his eyes. To Jamie it was one of the most amazing things he had seen.

"Danny!" He exclaims as he watches his brother turn his tear streaked face toward him. "I am so glad you are alright…"

"Jamie…I…love…you… kid." Danny managed to whisper.

"I love you too Danny and thank you," Jamie whispered back. He didn't care that they rarely ever told each other how proud they were of the other. He was thankful that he had his big brother back. That his brother was alive.


End file.
